Feeling Is First

Him: How many kids do you have? Me: 5 Him: Like all 5 are your kids? Me: What do you actually want to know? Him: What? Me: I have 5 kids. They are my kids. Do you want to know how many pregnancies I had? How many births? If some of my kids are adopted? If I breastfed? What do you actually want to know? Him: *silence* OK, so I barked at the dude. But he is neither the first nor last person to ask me some variation of the question, "Which of these kids are REALLY yours?" Yo. I just told you. They are all mine. I cook their meals and wash their pee-soaked clothes. I bandage their scrapes and clip their finger-nails. I zip up their coats and braid their hair. I read with them and play with them and sing with them. I hold them and comfort them. Every. Single. Day. They call me Mama. All five of them call me Mama. And why shouldn't they? Aren't I doing everything to fulfill that roll? Look, I'm happy to answer your earnest questions. One woman said, "...

Disclaimer: I am an average sized, attractive white woman who can pass as heterosexual. My parents paid for my college education. The financial struggles I have faced have been caused by the American healthcare system (Husband having cancer and partner having Lyme) and my own bad choices (buying a house we shouldn't have and then selling it underwater). This is a blog post about money management written by an immensely privileged person. If you are a person who faces systemic discrimination every day and you just want to roll your eyes and keep scrolling, I totally get that. If, however, you are curious about how my family of eight stays afloat, or how three adults can share finances without fighting constantly, read on! Pretty much the whole world is worried about money right now. If you're one of the lucky people who isn't worried about your own financial situation, you're still worried about your friends and loved ones who are struggling. You're still worried a...